ALL GOOD SONS 14-16

 I've head it said that most writers are their own worst critics, and I have to say I definitely fall into that category. It's from this section of All Good Sons that I personally think I let the story get away from me a little bit; allowed myself to get carried away and let the plot descend into madness. Maybe I'm overthinking it, I don't know.

Chapter Fourteen

I put my phone in my bag and drove to Lulu’s place. She rented a downtown apartment on Wilshire, and I only half expected her to let me in when the doorman buzzed her. I didn’t have another plan. Her decorating scheme was a study in monochrome - everything from the sofas to the light switches was a shade of orange. I put on what I hoped was my warmest smile. She smiled right back. Oblivious. I noticed when she let me in that the TV wasn’t on.

‘I take it you haven’t seen the news?’

‘I don’t watch a whole lot of TV.’

‘On the internet?’

‘Taking a break from it for a while. My P.A. answers all my emails anyway. Have a seat.’

I parked myself on a burnt umber leather monstrosity.

‘I love your…color scheme.’

‘Thanks! I did a short course in color theory, and I learned that orange represents joy and creativity.’

I smiled, biting down on the sides of my tongue to keep it from tripping me up. How appropriate that she should surround herself with this color, given the joy she took in creating my son’s downfall. She made us each a dreadfully sweet tea and took her place on the sofa opposite mine.

‘So what did I miss?’

‘Pardon?’

‘What was on the news?’

‘Oh,’ I put my cup down on her coffee table with mock gravity, ‘Nash Kent is dead.’

She remained composed, but I saw her eyes widen, just a little.

‘What happened?’

‘He was murdered in his bed. They say it looks like a professional job. '

‘Oh…well, he must’ve met a few unsavory types in his line of work. I guess he turned away the wrong guy.’

‘Yes, well, I thought you should hear it from me, given this isn’t the first friend you’ve lost. I’m so sorry.’

‘Oh, that’s okay. I haven’t spoken to Nash in years. He kinda gave me the creeps, to be honest.’

‘I know, Lulu.’

‘Know what?’

‘I know about those girls.’

‘Which girls?’

‘The ones they hurt. Nash’s sister.’

‘Oh, yeah. I’ve been trying to forget about that. That’s why I haven’t kept up with anyone from the old days. Didn’t want anything to do with it.’

‘How did you find out?’

‘Grey told me. He walked in on Dillon hurting one of them before she whacked him with a bat. Good for her.’

‘Is that why they didn’t touch you? Did you have a bat, too?’

‘I can’t swing to save my life. Grey protected me. He was always there when I needed him.’

‘Why didn’t you say something to the police the night they hurt Grey?’

A pool of crocodile tears welled up in her eyes. I had to hand it to her; she really did give good face.

‘I was afraid! Grey told me all about what they did to those girls, and Nash threatened to do it to me if I didn’t keep my mouth shut. I know it was wrong but I didn’t know what else to do!’

‘I heard you joined in.’

‘You spoke to the others? What did they say?’

‘Tell me why, Lulu, why did you hurt him? Was it Nash’s idea?’

She rolled her eyes, which were now dry.

‘Please. If that guy ever had an idea he’d die of shock. I clobbered Grey because I was mad at him.’

‘Because of that girl at the dance?’

‘We set that up! She bought the answers to the chem final from Nash, and Dillon said he’d keep it quiet if she teased Grey a little. She thought she was making me jealous, stupid whore. He liked that, by the way, being teased, did you know?’

I didn’t know anything, it seemed.

‘I told him she was a cherry, and he got real excited. He liked the virgins. We had to act out that whole jealous girlfriend thing, you understand; people had to see us kiss and make up, or the whole story would fall apart later. Anyway, she told him she’d meet him down at the beach, so he went down there with us. I can’t remember whose idea it was to tell him she liked motorcycles…maybe it was mine.’

Grey watched the bikers for half an hour, waiting until the time was right.

‘This unchartered pussy’d better be worth it,’ he said.

Nash clapped him on the back.

‘Oh it will be, my man. Just you remember to pass it around when you’re done.’

‘In what parallel universe do I forget to share?’

He sent Lulu in to distract the bikers, threw his leg over the Harley and kicked it into gear. He was less than a few feet away when Lulu pointed out at the road and screamed.

‘Hey! That guy’s stealing your ride!’

‘He was going to rat on us…on all of us. He was afraid he was gonna get caught, so he turned stooge.’

‘How did you find that out?’

‘I asked Pierre. Dumb shit followed Grey around like a puppy. He was the one who convinced Grey to tell. Get this, he was worried about you! He didn’t want you finding out what Grey was really like, and he thought that if Grey went to the cops he’d look like a hero. It was common knowledge that he had a thing for you, so I used you to get the truth out of him. Then I told him Nash was going to do you if he didn’t help us get him. He blubbered like a baby, it was totally disgusting.’

She picked up a cigarette off the table and lit up.

‘Mmm,’ she said, then exhaled,’that’s another thing you didn’t know about your son - he was a smoker. Big one, too. One of those girls grabbed a lit smoke out of his mouth and burned him not long before he turned rat. Got him right on the nipple. Go take a look if you don’t believe me.’

I’d bathed Grey countless times since then, and I’d never noticed a cigarette burn there. Lulu took three long drags then stubbed out the cigarette in an ochre clay ashtray.

‘Don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I’ve got a plane to catch so, if you wouldn’t mind.’

I got up and walked slowly toward the door. I wanted to pick up the ashtray and dash her upside the head with it, collapse in her skull and crush her evil little brain, but I couldn’t, because that would say I accepted her story, and I couldn’t; not until Grey told it to me himself. She knew that as well as I did. She opened the door for me.

‘Thanks for coming, Viola. I’m sorry we couldn’t chat longer, I genuinely am.’

Chapter Fifteen

He was awake when I got there. I saw a bunch of doctors huddled around his bed and, naturally, thought the worst, but then one of them saw me and stepped back. Grey wasn’t sitting up - his newfound consciousness was too fresh for that yet - but he was laying there, smiling, and looking very pleased with himself.

His doctor took me aside and filled me in.

‘I’m going to keep him under round the clock observation, just as a precaution, but I think we have good reason to be optimistic.’

‘That’s wonderful.’

The doctor looked over his glasses at me.

‘Miss Perris, are you alright?’

Oh,’ I said, flashing him a smile I hoped didn’t make me look manic, ‘absolutely. It’s just a bit of a shock after all this time.’

‘That’s understandable. The journey back can be a big adjustment, for patient and for family. My advice? Take it slow. Allow him to get back on the horse one leg at a time.’

He gave us a few minutes catch up time, and as I watched him and his team of miracle workers file out of the room, I wondered whether any of them had a platitude to fit the fucked-up situation I was really in. I closed the door behind me and went to him, this thing that had been masquerading as my son all these years. I embraced him, because that was what my role dictated, and I needed to play it for a little while longer.

‘How’s my gorgeous boy?’

‘About ready to blow this place. I hate it here.’

‘They need to keep an eye on you for a bit longer.’

‘If it’s a question of the tab, I’m sure you and the good doctor could come to an arrangement.’

A fake laugh that was never going to fool him.

‘What is it? What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing. I just can’t believe I’ve got you back. It’s been awhile.’

‘Yeah, I know. How is everybody?’

‘Lulu’s doing great. She’s a model. She’s flying off to Paris as we speak.’

‘Has she been to see me?’

‘No. Do you remember anything?’

‘No.’

If I told him the truth, there would be two possible outcomes. Either he wouldn’t remember, and he’d have a complete meltdown, or he would remember, and I’d be forced to see my only son for who he really was, in all his despicable glory. My life was dictated by poisonous choices.  

Chapter Sixteen

I pondered this and a half a dozen other scenarios on the way to the hospital. None of them offered me a decent resolution. There was only one person in the entire world with the inside track on my son’s true nature, and he was languishing away inside an amorphous shell. As for the burn mark, I did recall seeing something, but only in passing, as I scanned over every mark on his body to try to get a sense of what he went through. Anyway, it was gone now.

I turned the car back around and headed for home.